We’re almost there, inching ever closer to our second baby’s birth day. I know it’s coming, but I almost can’t fathom it. Are we really going to have another baby in the house?

I vacillate back and forth between surprise that I haven’t given birth already and thinking that the baby will never come. Pregnancy is getting increasingly uncomfortable. I’m not sleeping and it feels like everything I do is a struggle.

Our home birth supplies are set up neatly against the wall in our sunroom. We’re ready. Are we? We seem to be. . .

Truth is, we’re tired. And while having a newborn will bring its own set of challenges, living in limbo is challenging, too. We feel caught between two worlds and we’re juggling a lot. My wife is working a full-time job, prepping for her absence, taking care of a toddler, attending grad school full-time, and trying to manage household duties. Until two days ago, I had been commuting three hours every day to work as an attorney and professor at the law school. By the time I got home, it was all I could do to help a little with Pidge and with the house before I collapsed into bed. As we wait for labor to begin, I am still working, but I am working from home, which is much, much better. I can finally get that in-case-I-give-birth-on-the-interstate bag out of my car and breathe a bit. Only a bit, though, because now we’ve got Coronavirus to contend with. Good grief.

Pidge is getting antsy. We have been talking about this baby for the majority of the last year. She knows the baby is coming, but I think she gets tired of us talking about it. She wants it to happen already (me too, kid).

We’ve been trying to prepare her for the birth. We have been reading her stories like Hello, Baby and the book I made about how she was born. Although she is typically screen-free, I decided to show her the video of her birth. I thought it might be a good idea for her to experience the sights and sounds of what birth looks like. She watched, entranced. When my wife got to the hard pushing, Pidge winced and teared up and covered her ears. Birth is a lot for a 2.5-year-old. I hugged her close to me and told her that yes, Mama was in pain, but she was roaring like a lion because she is so strong. At the end of the video, I asked her if she wants to be with us when the new baby is born or if she wants to be somewhere else. She thought for a moment, tilted her head, and then said, “I want to be here, but I want to wear headphones.” What a little problem solver.

So now we wait. We work and we try to go about normal life and we wash our hands and we snuggle our toddler and we wait.